Ways To Heal

I’m still reacting to the shooting at the Islamic Center of San Diego several days ago and the response to it. There was much support and some not so kind words. There was a lot of pain and many chances for healing.

As I’m looking for ways to volunteer my services as a trauma psychologist, some people close to me have been asking me what I’ve been doing to take care of myself at this time. At first, I thought that I didn’t need much care. I mean, I wasn’t physically in the vicinity of the shooting.  Even though I physically wasn’t there, I responded deeply and empathically. I needed care too. I still do to a certain extent.

While I am looking for ways to support the communities that were directly impacted by the terrible attack at the Islamic Center, I am also reminded to care for myself. Here are some ways that I am doing that. I’m sharing this in the hope that you will also remember to care for yourself, in whatever ways are possible right now.

I care for my body and mind.

I go to my own medical and mental health appointments. Even when I’m scared or don’t want to. I go anyway. I know it’s the best way to take care of myself. 

I log onto Finch. I do my daily Duolingo - currently I’m learning chess and Spanish. 

I eat more vegetables. For me, broccoli and baby spinach and if I’m lucky, some fabulous carrots. 

I go to sleep earlier than I want to, knowing that my body needs it, even if I want to stay up later.

I make a point to connect.

With people:

I reach out to a friend I hadn’t seen in a while to plan a friend date.

With their consent (always), I hug my family and friends.

With nature:

I get outside. I swing in our porch chair. I whisper to our plants. I pay attention to the buds on the trees and the bees.  

And with religion and spirtuality: 

I listen to LGBTQI+ Jewish thought leaders. I attend Shavuot: A Queer Kaleidoscope.  We learned from teachers from five of the LGBTQI+ synagogues in the USA. I listen and participate as much as I can. I re-meet people I haven’t seen in years. And we got to sing and dance and learn. 

With text:

I’m working on revising my part of a book chapter. It’s taking me longer than I thought possible but I’m still working away. 

And with my feelings:

Happy. Sad. Scared. Hopeful. And more. I let myself feel. 

In session, I stay grounded and fully present with my clients and their feelings.

Outside of my work as a therapist, I make space for my own feelings too.

I make plans.

Currently, I’m making plans to be at Oceanside Pride by the Beach on June 6th, 2026. Eeeeeek!! I’m getting excited to be there. Please come by visit me and the folks at Waves, Psych Co.