Is it Pride? Being Jewish and LGBTQ+ In San Diego in 2025
Pride
In most of the world, LGBTQ+ Pride occurs in June. San Diego, however, currently hosts its LGBTQI+ Pride in July. According to San Diego’s Pride organization https://sdpride.org/pride-july/ ), in July 1990, June Pride was pretty much rained out so they decided to switch Pride to July to rid the holiday away from June Gloom and towards sunnier skies. They stated too that having a different date than other Pride events could help San Diegans celebrate other communities’ special Pride days.
June
Once June 1 arrives, though, I don my gay apparel and step into World Pride Season. Sure, I live in San Diego but I LOVE Pride and am more than happy to celebrate it wherever I can, including in Washington, DC or Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I love showing my daughter all the places that celebrate LGBTQ+ people. We watch mini videos (shorts, reels, and more!) of some of the places she wants to visit all decked out in rainbows. It’s joyous and I love it!
Tough Year
This year has been pretty rough, to put it mildly. I’ve been much more timid about being out and about in my full queer and Jewish glory. I’ve been feeling tired and down and spending time with my loved ones and less time tootling around town.
I’ve been very scared about the hate mongering that the USA’s president has been espousing against trans people. I’ve also been horrified that he’s using his so-called concerns about antisemitism and trans people to push students out of universities, rescind important funding, and fire workers, let alone scare and take away undocumented people.
I am aghast and repulsed about the way Trump has discussed issues of antisemitism. I feel like he’s made Jews even more of a target.
Zionism
Please keep in mind that I am a Zionist as I believe that there needs to be a State of Israel. I do not condone any cruelty towards Palestinians and I long for the hostages to come home and a two state peaceful solution to the Israel - Hamas war. As a Jew from the diaspora (not in Israel). I want an immediate ceasefire along with a return of the hostages.
Antisemitism
According to the Anti Defamation League (ADL), San Diego and the USA in general has experienced growing rates of antisemitism. https://www.adl.org/resources/report/audit-antisemitic-incidents-2024 Here is a chart of the nationwide increase of antisemitic rates: https://www.adl.org/resources/report/audit-antisemitic-incidents-2024 The research lists San Diego as one of three hotspots for antisemitism in California.
Recently, there was the murder of a younger (than me) differently gendered Jewish couple in Washington, DC. They were unarmed peace activists. Sure, they worked for an Israeli agency but that’s no reason to kill them. Plus, I still can’t figure out how the gunman knew that as he just saw that they left the party filled with Jewish young adults. He knew they were probably Jewish and heading home for the night. And then, they didn’t make it home.
Then, there was the antisemitic violence in Boulder, CO. Violence interrupted a peaceful run to bring attention to the hostages who have been imprisoned for over 600 days. The perpetrator lit a Holocaust survivor and others on fire. In the USA. I have no words. https://www.facebook.com/Run4TheirLives
Being scared
I haven’t wanted to go out much this year and I’m an extrovert. I love meeting people for coffee and going to the beach and being active in my communities. I’ve been very hesitant about talking about being queer, enby, and Jewish with friends and colleagues. For the last year, I’ve been mindful of who I’ve spoken to about being Jewish.
Last August, I remember the silence I got at a breakfast at an LGBTQ+ - affirming breakfast at the APA Convention in Seattle. It was after folks put out flyers on our shared breakfast table. I looked down and read them because well, I love learning and I love to read so I thought, why not?
They were pro-Palestine and anti-Israel flyers. Everyone around me was putting on the stickers that accompanied the flyers and I didn’t. Instead, I took a deep breath and realized that it was okay if I was at this table too, literally and figuratively, and I shared that I’d be happy to read their flyers and learn more about their experiences even though I am a Zionist. I said that I might not be their intended audience as I felt that the state of Israel should exist. They went from talking to me in a friendly way to not looking at me and I felt it - that sense of being othered and it hurt. I wasn’t wanted. I knew that that could happen before I said anything but I didn’t want it to be true. I thought it was more important to be there as a Jew than silent, again, tucked into a corner, being scared.
Maybe I’ll delete this line or two about believing in a State of Israel. I hope I’ll be brave enough to leave it on but sometimes, I too get extra concerned about my safety and now that I have a daughter, I’d give anything for her to stay safe and secure in this world, even if it means I have to hide a bit more.
That said, for me, Pride is not about hiding. Pride is about being as out as I can be. As a Jew. As a queer. As a lesbian. As enby. As intersex and as female. I realized that not everyone can be out all of the time or any of the time and that’s okay. For me, though, Pride is about cultivating the joyful and euphoric feelings about my experiences and my identities.
And yet, this Pride, I hesitate to be fully myself, especially about being Jewish. There’s a long history of Jews and LGBTQ+ Jews at that, marching in Pride parades. I marched with my synagogue in San Francisco, CA and I LOVED IT! I went to the Shabbat services before the trans march started. I loved getting to embrace my full self - all of my identities - and celebrate them, with my synagogue.
I’ve lived in San Diego for about awhile now and have marched in its Pride Parade for many years, sometimes with my synagogue, at other times, with San Diego Psych Association, or once, with the San Diego Community Center where I did one of my pre-doc psychology internships. I’ve loved the walking and the cheering and all of the good feelings. There have been times that I’ve been scared but I’ve usually gone anyway. Sadly, I won’t be going this year unless something major changes.
Whereas last year, my San Diego synagogue had security personnel protect them at Pride, this year, many Jewish organizations won’t be in attendance at all.
This year, 2025, it is not safe and secure for Jews and their congregations or community organizations to march in San Diego Pride.
The decision was made when Kehlani (pronouns: they/them) became one of the headliners of San Diego Pride. Their messaging appears to support ending the existence of Israel and supporting those who have killed and held hostage many on October 7th in Israel. The Jewish community organizations asked the San Diego Pride committee to pull its support of them and they said that they wouldn’t. They said they’d respect the Jewish community to pull out of the festivities rather than provide some way for us to be there. I wish that they had said that they would increase security or hold a community meeting or anything that I could use to justify my attendance and believe that the organization cared at all about me and my Jewish LGBTQ+ community.
As such, I won’t be attending San Diego Pride festivities. I feel so sad. I’d love to attend but I just can’t let myself. I don’t want to put my family in harm’s way. Thanks for reading about what 2025 has been like for me, a proud and sometimes scared, sometimes, brave, and always trying to do better, queer Jewish enby, female psychologist and mom.
To read more about Jewish perspectives about Kehlani and their work please see these links:
https://stopantisemitism.org/as-week/kehlani/
https://awiderbridge.org/statement-san-diego-pride/
https://www.timesofisrael.com/jewish-groups-pull-out-of-san-diego-pride-festival-over-anti-israel-singers-performance/
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