Finding Hope

I had a bookkeeper appointment recently. I realized that as I was talking financials and reconnecting accounts to quickbooks and all the boring stuff that is part of a business that I was also looking to him for hope in the future, both financially and in general. We laughed together about how some days are easier than others and how we are all sloughing through the Trump administration’s horrors and our totally messed up world. It felt hopeful to laugh. In that moment, I  realized that I still have some of my own hope that hasn’t dissipated over the last year or so. I want to share my hope in case you are having a hard day or a day that can still be made a bit brighter. In my examples, I will share (some) context first so feel free to skip ahead to the bulleted parts about feeling hopeful.

It was devastating to learn that this administration was not honoring World AIDS Day this year.

But then I looked at my Facebook feed and saw that no one there forgot.

We remember.

While AIDS or HIV is not always a cheerful topic, it is one that our LGBTQ+ community as a whole remembers. I was in elementary school when Reagan was president. I wasn’t questioning my sexuality at that point and I didn’t know about gay men. But now, as a queer person, I carry the stories forward to the new generations. I’m here as a therapist to help newly diagnosed folks and those living with AIDS or affected by those living with HIV or AIDS. I’m here reading all the stories I can about the people who died during the AIDS crisis, those survivors, living and left behind, and the caretakers - the ones who stayed when others left. That to me is hope. When I once relied on the government to lift up our stories and remember our dead, I look to our communities who continue to do so.

•People aren’t alone in their beliefs.

Not everyone believes that Trump is fabulous. Many of my friends and loved ones are also right there with me when we learn about the way the Administration is trying to smush down trans people or arrest and deport people for being undocumented.

•Relationships persist.

When I was feeling low recently, my wife sat me down and reminded me what we’ve been through and how we will get by, together.

• There are new things to learn.

I’m also trying to learn a new skill and pick up a new hobby. I see this as a way to break up the pain and helplessness that I feel in the wake of all the news. My new hobby is chess via Duolingo. My family and I are learning together how to play and it feels like it strengthens my relationships too (see above, relationships persist).

I’m also still learning Spanish and meandering through the music/piano course. Will this learning immediately stop ICE from waiting outside schools or shops? Unequivocally, no. It will, though, help me from completely burning out aka giving me something to laugh about when I can’t for the life of me remember how to do a chess move.

• Coffee ice cream still exists as does kale and movement.

At times, I crave kale. I really do love eating it and I adore when our weekly Community Supported Agriculture’s (CSA’s) vegetable box includes it. I love massaged kale salad and kale in soups and well sauteed. I’m a fan.

I love coffee ice cream too. It’s creamy. It’s great with sprinkles or jimmies (yes, I’m from Boston so I still say jimmies) and it totally keeps me up if I eat it too late in the day.

I love movement. We recently went to Disneyland. It was the first time in over 20 years that I had been there and I live about two hours from it. We walked all over the place and while it was tiring, I loved it. I loved swimming nearby and all the dancing that we did while waiting in line for a ride or at the various parades. Back home, I’m dancing whenever I can, stretching, practicing yoga, or sometimes, playing in the garden. My body still moves. And that is hopeful to me. 

• We can still protest together.

Sometimes, I’m all about a big protest. I love getting groups to mobilize. At other times, I’m totally intrigued by the seemingly small ways that I can contribute to the resistance.

When I was driving my kiddo back from her afterschool program, we saw all these people on the side of the road holding up posters protesting Trump and his anti-immigration posters. I warned my kid that I was about to toot my horn in support and I did, loudly and quickly, and soon, the people protesting on the side of the road and me and our car were together in our cheers for our immigrant neighbors, relatives, and friends and our disgust with anti-trans policies of this administration. Kiddo was a bit embarrassed after a good while, but she still high-fived me when I thanked her for her support of the movement. 

Hope

is what I hold onto when the days of hearing anti-trans policies seem to pour out of our administration or when I see any suffering in this world. Hope is my daughter’s high five. While I can’t fix worldwide pain, I can certainly use these strategies to hold onto hope that things can get better.

I want to know, what do you use to find a little hope in your day?

If you need some help in finding the hope in your life, therapy at Waves can be a good place to start. We have available virtual or in person appointments and can usually get new clients in to see us within the week. Please connect to us via the button below or by texting (or calling) us at 619-403-5578.

We have availability and would love to fill our caseloads with LGBTQI+ people who need our specialized mental health care. Please set up a free 15-minute consultation appointment today to see if we would be a good fit for you.

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Other Services Offered With Waves, A Psych Co

We at Waves are happy to support Californians with LGBTQI+ centered therapy services. We listen closely and we don’t shy away from the tough topics. We are kink and polyamory - affirming. We have appointments and can’t wait to fill them with people interested in making their lives better, however that looks like for each person. We provide individualized care as each person has different needs. We have LGBTQI+ - centered mental health care and provide EMDR, talk therapy, and somatic therapy (Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy). Our team of therapists also offers Grief Therapy, Couples and Chosen Family Therapy, Therapy for ADHD, Therapy for Students, Transgender Support, and more! Be sure to check out our FAQs and Blog for more about us and our services!